She gave me the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. Keep on trying, knowing that he will have a horrible time making it through this and that in all honesty, he probably wont... or ending his suffering now.
I chose to just end it. As much as I wanted to cuddle and kiss him more, and as difficult as it was, I could not bear the idea of him going through any more pain and suffering. I love him too much for that.
I had to put him first.
I keep blaming myself for ever getting him neutered in the first place. But honestly, I was just trying to do what was best for him. I had heard so many arguements for it, and none against it. I just wanted him to live a long and happy life.
I love him so much. so so so so much.
This is hell. This is complete hell. I miss him so much. He was my little man. He was my little ray of sunshine.